AAAAAAHHHH, Pogues

Yes, I have received several comments and questions about pogues. What is a pogue? Who are pogues? Why are pogues a bad thing? So, let's get right down to it.

1) Pogue is pronounced P(long o)G. Pogue. Like in mow.

2) A pogue, according to dictionary.com, is a derogatory slang word used by front-line troops to describe soldiers in the rear-echelon, support elements, and headquarters units.

3) Pogues are near-soldiers that focus entirely on maintaining a garrison environment no matter where they go. A garrison environment is the mindset of an army (mostly) at peace, getting ready for war: training, breaking in replacement recruits, focused on the army as the army handbook says it should be. Garrison soldiers train, prepare, and plan for war. Not a bad thing. It's necessary when between wars. During wartime, though, the garrison mindset is and should be replaced by the wartime mindset. Instead of training for war, you execute war. Instead of preparing for war, you prepare for your next mission. Instead of planning for war, you plan the war. Pogues get caught up in-between.

4) Pogues are a bad thing. They just are. A pogue will approach you in the chow hall after you've just gotten back from a week-long mission and tell you that you shouldn't be getting your first hot chow in 7+ days until you get a clean, pressed uniform on. A pogue will request that you salute him/her (if an officer) during wartime even though it puts them and you in danger. A pogue will demand that you account for all of your ammunition after you've just gotten back from a firefight. A pogue has no concept that the way the army handbook says you fight a war is usually different than the way your enemy chooses to fight a war. If you don't do it by the book, a pogue will say, you obviously aren't for the army.

5) Pogues demoralize the real soldiers. Pogues go out of their way to make sure everyone knows that they did a 6-month hardship tour deployed to Qatar (where the US base is beachside and is used for R&R of combat troops but the support troops who run the gyms, dining facilities, and internet cafe's also get combat patches). They buy a cell phone when they get to Camp Doha, Kuwait (where the US base is right by the bay and where they haven't been shot at since, like, 1991) and complain that the service cuts out from time to time in their "horrible" one-year luxury deployment complete with a video rental store (man, they don't have the newest Aliens movie... this place SUCKS!). Pogues wear their infantry division combat patch with pride but won't ever say that the closest they got to the action was this one time when a passing base transit bus backfired and everyone thought it was a gunshot. Then, when a true combat soldier shows up in a dusty, torn uniform with gear trashed from overuse and jerry-rigging, a pogue will reprimand the warrior for not appearing presentable enough for good society. A pogue is a terrible thing.

6) not all support soldiers are pogues. A common misperception is that ALL support soldiers are pogues. NOT true. Mechanics suit up and brave gun and rocket fire to go temporarily fix damaged vehicles so the crew can fight for just a few more minutes or make it home alive. I've seen one or two pay clerks volunteer to ride a helicopter into 20-man forward firebases, under fire, to make sure that the men who may die tomorrow have their insurance and pay paperwork done right BEFORE the unthinkable happens. I've seen cooks jump up to man the gun turret (the most exposed soldier on a vehicle) on a HumVee when no one else wanted to risk it. I've seen the youngest, safest of office assistants throw on brand new body armor to carry needed supplies to troops in need. These men may not be "combat" soldiers but they are certainly NOT pogues.

7) not all pogues are support soldiers. Another misperception is that there are no pogues in the combat corps. Ahhh, if only that were the case. I've seen a Battalion supply sergeant chew out an E-3 private for breaking the scope on his rifle when the private had to crawl 10 yards under a fullisade of rifle fire just to make it out alive. I've met infantry officers that insist their men remove, fold, and sleep on their uniforms so that the uniforms look pressed. I've met privates who berate their sergeants for not following proper procedure for reacting to an ambush when that sergeant probably just saved the private's life. Pogues are everywhere.

That's my pogue rant. That's who they are. That's why they are bad for the army. That's why I try not to be one. But hey, I'm just a civilian. :)

Take care!

PS- the elections are about to begin! How cool is that?????